By 2030, the adult entertainment industry is expected to surge past $118 billion, a figure that reflects the ever-expanding onslaught of the obscenity once relegated to society’s shadowy corners. Since internet access became widespread, pornography use and exposure have exploded, placing explicit and inappropriate content in front of not only a greater number of adults but, alarmingly, a rapidly increasing younger population. With the advent of artificial intelligence, grotesque and unusual fantasies are being supercharged by the novel technology’s processing power and capability to produce ultra-realistic content.
Online prostitution and porn-stardom websites like OnlyFans have surged in popularity since the pandemic. From 2019 to 2023, OnlyFans’ user base grew by over 2,100% as millions of “content” creators, supported by hundreds of millions of “fans”, registered accounts on the platform. Even among the US Christian population, porn consumption has increased significantly. In recent polling, more than 60% of believers agreed that a person can regularly view salacious material and live a sexually healthy life.
Recently, Brad Wilcox, a BYU professor and former counselor in the Young Men’s General Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, spoke to BYU’s Un-Alone Club. The club, founded more than 4 years ago, aims to provide resources, support, and community to those struggling with pornography and those seeking to help loved ones. Brother Wilcox highlighted the importance of recognizing counterfeit intimacy and embracing real connection in relationships, stating, “pornography is not intimacy. It is the illusion of intimacy. It is not a real relationship. It is a counterfeit relationship.”
Encouraging students to seek out what is real, Brother Wilcox described how authenticity can be found in the relationships we have with our families, our friends, our role models in the Church, and God. These four anchors are sources of closeness that ground us in reality and provide genuine connection. No false substitute or illusion of intimacy can replace those anchors.
Those illusions harm an individual’s perception of true love. Rather than receive the caring embrace of a loved one, pornography leaves its user lonely, ashamed, and miserable. The worldly promise of sexual liberation and empowerment soon reveals itself to be a fraud as temporal ecstasy quickly subsides to those lingering, painful emotions.
Previous Un-Alone Club meetings have described how pornography detaches its participants from the sacred symbolism and unity of a real sexual relationship, leaving them dissatisfied with unrealistic and unhealthy expectations of the ideal. That central symbol of two souls becoming one flesh, expressed so perfectly in sexual union, can never be achieved by cheap imitation. Fleeting pleasures can never compare with purity and true love.
Yet, while the influence of pornography is spiritually damaging to those struggling to overcome it, Brother Wilcox emphasized that there is hope. Like a loving father teaching his child to walk, God sometimes allows us to stumble. He knows the falls may not be desirable, but the lessons learned from them are essential. All He expects of us is that we try. Stumblings, imperfections, and second chances are essential to the Father’s plan. This sentiment is echoed in the Church’s temple recommend questions, which ask members if they “strive” for purity. That sincere and constant effort is perfected by the Savior’s redemptive power as individuals embark on the path that leads to healing and forgiveness.
As Brother Wilcox described, in our oft-confused and truth-distorting world, it is vital that we learn to recognize the difference between real connection and counterfeit attachment. Real connection, real closeness, real peace, real love come from real relationships. We, as relational beings, need those human connections. No virtual facade can replace the warmth and love that come from connecting with a real person.
Even amidst persistent challenges with pornography, there is always hope. There is no wound too wrenching, no ditch too deep, and no heartache too harrowing that cannot be healed by the Savior’s perfect power. Trailing His heavenly throne, He descended below all things. He intimately knows our struggles, our limitations, and our failings because He himself bore them. That personal knowledge allows Him to succor us in our time of need.
For individuals and loved ones seeking help, the Un-Alone Club offers community support and helpful resources, including podcasts, articles, and insights from past meetings. The club meets each Tuesday at 7:30PM, and additional information can be found on the Un-Alone Club’s Instagram page. The club also pleads with those struggling with temptation to turn to the Savior, to those who love them, and to the ecclesiastical leaders who desire to help them find healing. It is never too late.
In the words of President Boyd K. Packer, “there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the atonement of Christ.”
Cover Photo Source: https://unsplash.com/photos/a-couple-of-people-standing-on-top-of-a-mountain-qgiYIp3trtc
